Why the fuck everybody insist that I should have a more normal and ordinary life. They love me and they care for me, I know that. My aunt was talking to me last night that I should be open to marriage and I should start considering people around me. And that I will end up like my mother otherwise, ALONE. That she is 50 years old and that she eats alone, she lives alone, she is sick alone, she …ALONE.
Yes I get it. I might end up being alone for the rest of my life. But does that mean that I have to give up the happiness that I have and as my aunt called it; Temporary happiness, and just start paying attention and start thinking about marriage so if live much longer I will have somebody to come home to?
I can not even picture getting married at this point in my life. I feel that I am under so much pressure suddenly. My aunt said that at least my mother has some happiness in her life and that is my sister and I. I will not even have that because I do not have any children.
That’s true, but why do I have to follow an ordinary life of growing up, going to school, getting married, having kids and then Die. So I have done part of my ordinary life, growing up, going to school. And now I should follow the rest. What I do not understand is that people who are married are not happy either. Most of them are miserable.
We had a similar conversation with another group just few weeks ago when I was visiting Iran. I asked who do you know that is happily married? A lady raised her hand. She is in her mid thirties, beautiful, tall with light brown her. She got married ten years ago and now she has two children. Her husband is tall, very handsome with an excellent position in Iran. She raised her hand and said: “I am happy. I am happy that I got married and I am very happy with my husband.”
Everybody nodded their head and said see, there are people who are happy in their marriage. I was shocked to see her raising her hand and making such strong statement, knowing that on the very same day she cut her husband cheating on her. On the very same day she confronted her husband’s lover and cried. I do not understand why people lie to themselves? Why can’t they be honest with themselves. Why do they like to live in denial? Is reality to harsh? Yes it is. But there is only two options; Accept it or Deny it. And it seems that most people are in denial. Will they ever wake up? Will they ever look within to see where the pain is?
Or maybe I need to wake up?
Yes I get it. I might end up being alone for the rest of my life. But does that mean that I have to give up the happiness that I have and as my aunt called it; Temporary happiness, and just start paying attention and start thinking about marriage so if live much longer I will have somebody to come home to?
I can not even picture getting married at this point in my life. I feel that I am under so much pressure suddenly. My aunt said that at least my mother has some happiness in her life and that is my sister and I. I will not even have that because I do not have any children.
That’s true, but why do I have to follow an ordinary life of growing up, going to school, getting married, having kids and then Die. So I have done part of my ordinary life, growing up, going to school. And now I should follow the rest. What I do not understand is that people who are married are not happy either. Most of them are miserable.
We had a similar conversation with another group just few weeks ago when I was visiting Iran. I asked who do you know that is happily married? A lady raised her hand. She is in her mid thirties, beautiful, tall with light brown her. She got married ten years ago and now she has two children. Her husband is tall, very handsome with an excellent position in Iran. She raised her hand and said: “I am happy. I am happy that I got married and I am very happy with my husband.”
Everybody nodded their head and said see, there are people who are happy in their marriage. I was shocked to see her raising her hand and making such strong statement, knowing that on the very same day she cut her husband cheating on her. On the very same day she confronted her husband’s lover and cried. I do not understand why people lie to themselves? Why can’t they be honest with themselves. Why do they like to live in denial? Is reality to harsh? Yes it is. But there is only two options; Accept it or Deny it. And it seems that most people are in denial. Will they ever wake up? Will they ever look within to see where the pain is?
Or maybe I need to wake up?
5 comments:
we're so afraid to be alone that we get pushed into doing things we don't want... take as much time as u need... when u're ready u'll know it... the purpose of life is to be happy... if u're happy, keep it that way! *boos*
honestly that's the idea of cohabiting that i challenge, i mean lifelong committments have proved to be pains...& however u take the path u'll end up thinking the other way should have been better...
In my very humble and uneducated opinion...
Happiness, Hope, Love, marriage, dreams, lonliness,god
are man made concepts.. barely marketing tricks to get us out the bed, and make us do something I guess...
And the eyeranian aunts... they all mean well, but good intentions dont necassery translates to..
I have this nice aunt who wants to help me with the grad school application while she herself barely finished high school!!!!
But well, I should take her advice on that since she is MY EYERANIAN AUNT.,.,,
BTW: I am kinda buzzed on vodka now.. so I am brutally honest
If it makes you fell any better, the same aunt is trying to get me married, the religious way, and OH BOY will she be pissed when I tell her IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN KHALEH JAN!! I was so pissed off last night for feeling like I'm being pushed into something I don't want and don't believe in that I didn't sleep...But that kind of behavior is expected of me, but you were the favorite one!! ;-)
I'll write about it on my blog...
Here is another opinion and it’s original, because I just made it up. I think, we just haven’t met the right person. The one, that makes our heart tremble, our faces to blush, our eyes shy, our throat to dry, our senses vulnerable, our tummy to tighten , our legs to wobble, our temperature rise, and want our soul to jump out to declare our love and shout out and say, I want you. I desire you. I heart aches for you. I want to have your child, I want to go to sleep next to you, I want to wake up next to you, I want to love you, and I want to be yours and I want you to be mine I will do anything for you and I know you will do the same for me… We will jump to the chance so quickly, before any auntie or mom can blink. It's okay to feel this way.
The rest of it is just excuses, but good ones.
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