Thursday, December 16, 2004

What's wrong with me?

I have no right to do this to him.

What's wrong with me. I wish I knew. He is a perfect guy. He is nice, sincere, educated, tall, intelligent, excellent communicator, caring, loving, thoughtful, reliable, wealthy, family oriented, sensitive and logical, etc... And yet what's wrong with me. It's not only him, there are more guys around, with the same qualifications, Yet what's wrong with me.

This morning he sat in front of me and even cried in my office. All he wants is any type of relationship, anything more than a friendship. " I love you to death. I love every ounce of you,...It's ok with me if you are...I accept every bit of you..."

What else do I want?

I sat still and listened to him carefully and give him the usual excuse; it's not about you, It's about me. I'm focus on my work and trip, lablablab. Who buys that anymore? I think any indication of excuse means NO.

"It's very rare to have the connection that we have. There is such a connection, why are you pushing me away?" he asked.

I'm thinking,Connections?? Connection must be two ways. How does he think that WE have connected? Why is it that people are connected to me and I am not. What's wrong with me??

He thinks that we should get married.

6 comments:

shadi said...

there's NOTHING wrong with u... when the time is right, it will happen...

Jason said...

intense!

love,
jason mulgrew
internet quasi-celebrity

Solmaz said...

I think that all the time too...what's wrong with me? and honestly you're not alone on this...and then i think, being this picky isn't going to get me anywhere...i'm going to end up old and lonely i swear...but i can't help it...it's not even that i think i'm too special for these people...it's that i don't want to settle for anything below my standard, which is crazy amazing love...i really have to be in love with the person...the thing is, if you've been in love once and it didn't work out, you're constantly looking for that...it's like a drug...that's my problem...

Alireza said...

wow, i was going to write something like this, too. what is wrong with me! girls usually connect with me, and yet I can't relate to them! Girls asked me to get married to them, as it is said, smart, attractive, educated, and yet I passed!! there must be something wrong with me!! HEEELLLPP, I am not alone then, so, if anyone can help pleassseee help me, my apologies for using your comment talking about my life!

best regards,

Anonymous said...

Better late than never! I just went back to check your earliest blog to see what you were thinking almost two years ago. I am curious. I’m not sure if you will see my comment or not and I don’t think matters, because I’m don’t have any thing new to say. I feel like that myself. I agree with, blogger Solmaz. Although I rather end up alone than just ending up with someone (not my solemate and "with no connection…") Good luck to all of us picky people :)

Anonymous said...

I have blogged about the same thing! Almost, the same thing and I did it on Nov 11, 2006. Actually my blog is under, “Little Appreciation for Finer Things in Life.” I was being sarcastic and playful and I am repeatedly asking the reader, “What’s wrong with me?” I was just having fun with journaling about what is was thinking at the time and it’s nothing as deep and serious as yours. I am falling in like with your blogs, because you talk about the same stuff I tend to think all the time (from what I’ve been reading so far.)